To Cruise Or Not To Cruise
New into my 7th decade all of my dear friends have deeply settled into the land of marriage. While visiting one of the “happily” married couples, they excitedly told me how they were about to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary. Never gone on a honeymoon, they decided to go all out and take a cruise ship out of NYC. The ship was to visit several ports beginning in Boston then to Portland, St. John, to as far north as Halifax. A trip up the east coast was actually something I’ve often considered doing, but from the vantage point of my automobile. When I expressed my sightseeing interest to the anniversary couple, both eagerly encouraged me to join them on their honeymoon adventure. Meantime, if ever I considered boarding a cruise ship, I’d be part of the musical entertainment. Other than that, the idea was not at all my cup of tea.
The last thing I wanted was to crash my friend’s romantic getaway, but they insisted in such a way, I had to look into it. While at their home, ‘Ricky’s’ lovely wife ‘Lucy’ called the cruise line. Since the departure was less than a week away, balcony staterooms were offered at huge discounts, as well as many other amenities. I could drink and eat to my heart’s content.
It almost became a “no-brainer”. I had the time, never been on a cruise and everyone knows I’m a sucker for bargains and, since spontaneity has always played a big part in my life I held my nose and took the plunge.
A cruise on an ocean liner never made my bucket list, but I must admit, never having been on a cruise, I was a wee bit curious. The people I know who have experienced cruise vacations often raved about them, and as it appeared, my friends didn’t mind the threesome at all. In fact, kind of bored with each other, they expressed how much they’d love my company.
Six days before setting sail I performed with my brother in law’s band at a wedding. It was fun to get back in the saddle, almost like I’ve never left. And even better, after the gig while packing my drums, someone called out “Mr. LaValle?” And no one calls me Mr. LaValle except former students. Sure enough, working for the caterer, one of my finest students and a couple of his friends, also former HKMS students, were breaking down the tables and chairs. We reminisced. It was a great way to top off the fun filled night.
The following evening I received a text message from the keyboard player in the band. It read: “Hey good people, it was great playing with you but just wanted to let you know that I just tested positive for Covid. I dodged it for 2 ½ years. I hope you guys are in the clear but I wanted to do the right thing and reach out to the people I’ve had contact with. I hope you’re well.” Talk about bad timing.
Part of the ship’s protocol was to receive a negative covid test result 3 days before sailing. The Norwegian Joy was to set sail on Friday, which meant a test the Wednesday prior. Perhaps the Universe was having its say.
Cruise or no cruise, I wasn’t terribly worried. Besides, my immune system was that of hardened steel, double vaccinated; double boosted and, I was fully exposed by a very, very close friend and didn’t get it. Wednesday’s negative test result proved my invincibility and said, Bob, you’re going on a cruise.
The day came. I could have cabbed, bused or Ubered, but it was a beautiful September afternoon. Unsure of the exercise I’d actually get on the ship, I decided to walk fifty plus blocks along the Hudson River promenade from my Riverside Drive apartment to the terminal. Along the way were runners, walkers, bicyclists, mopedders, scooterers, electric skateboards, electric this and that, roller skaters, and the rest, but no others wheeling luggage. Longer and more difficult than I expected, I was happy to approach the terminal’s friendly bag handlers. They relieved me of my luggage and directed me to proceed along the terminal’s longest line. I did my best to appear experienced, enthusiastic and happy, but I wasn’t.
Everywhere I looked couples were holding hands, seemingly enjoying each other and life’s adventures to the max. After all, what more could they want? Companionship, free food, free booze, shows, entertainment, gambling, auctions, water rides, pools, hot tubs, huge outdoor media screens, race cars, duty free gift shops, you name it, the Norwegian Joy had it all.
After unloading my stuff in my stateroom I was tempted to join the masses by diving into the action. Do I dare enter the men’s sexy leg competition being held by the pool? Checking out the competition, I knew I’d win so left the fun for others who were already fairly inebriated. Yes, the good life.
I was there to have fun and to learn. Several people I talked to cruised multiple times a year, and others, one cruise directly after another. How they loved their cruises while I looked around, smiled, pretended and had to wonder.
Most likely a one-time experience, I wanted to make the best of it by trying land excursions, comedy shows, fancy restaurants, a mock Beatles concert, Footloose show, go- kart racing, formula 1 race car assimilation, water slide, but no biggie. I left the gambling to the more daring. Let’s see… What could I possibly do to enjoy myself?
There were musical acts performing in several locations. Lucy, our personal cruise director, also discovered several karaoke bars. Time for some fun and I killed it with my best renditions of Louis, Van, Frank and Elvis. On another night I went and jammed in the ship’s atrium with a lovely husband and wife duo on some Latin hand drums. I tore the house down. Talk about fun! It was so much fun I sat in with yet another group of musicians the following evening. This group only played Latin material. I politely asked if I might sit in on the lone bongos that were collecting dust. Boom!! Bobby Lounge hits again. A homerun! After playing, the leader shouted out “your hired” and told me to return the following night wearing a white shirt and a black tie. Wherever I went people stopped, looked at me and said, “Hey, you’re the guy….” Not only did I enjoy myself, I brought joy to others.
That’s it! I was all set to return to the stage the following day but I began feeling a bit strange and it wasn’t a strangeness that I’ve experienced before. Perhaps all the free booze and food was getting the best of me but like a good ship citizen, I visited the medical center and sure enough. Dummm, Da, Dumm, Dumm! This was Wednesday afternoon, five days in. The ship left New York the prior Friday, to return to New York a week later.
“OK Mr. Robert”, said the Filipino attendee. “You have to stay in your room until we return to New York. We will waive the $10.00 room service fee and also, movies are now free.” Whoopie!
I did my best to recall the covid incubation period to try to figure it all out. That stuff was always confusing to me as it was to many doctors who never seemed to have a handle on it. Was it the keyboard player from the wedding gig or someone in between who infected me? It really didn’t matter at this point. I just hoped and prayed I’d survive the trip without a respirator. Other than a slight fever and excessive fatigue, I was ready to go and even thought of slipping out of my room for one more song. How I wanted to return to the stage but like that good boy, I followed orders. On the bright side, I got a break from watching all the reckless indulgence.
When Friday’s disembark arrived I was told to stay in my room until protected attendants could escort me off the ship and that wasn’t to happen until the other 3500 passengers were gone. When they knocked at my door dressed in protective garments and masks I felt like ET. Two white tyvek protected guys with spray guns immediately walked in and disinfected the entire cabin space. Then, I was led through several service passageways and elevators to meet others with covid to be taxied away. On a ship chock filled with 3500 passengers I was shocked to see just three people were infected.
At this point who knows? I may or may not be immune from covid, but I do know, unless I take a gig to perform, I’ve become forever immune to the notion of another cruise.
